bloody hell

now i'm pretty sure i understand why rochelle was always so happy to get her period. i HATE my period- so when she used to always announce happily that she got her period to maurice and i, i was confused- then i just assumed it was because she was such a whore that it was just reassurance she wasn't pregnant. i hadn't got my period in a few months and i had a fear in the back of my mind that one of the stupid medicines i take caused me to be infertile.. i don't know of any of the pills i take having that side effect but with my luck- i'd run into one that they would just find out it causes infertility after it caused me to be infertile. that's not the case.. YET anyway, i found blood in the toilet tonight and i also was cautious because the last few times i had sex, the guy hadn't used a condom and i assumed i might be pregnant after a few months of not getting my period. so now i see why rochelle may have been happy to have her period- now that i experienced it personally. don't get me wrong here- i am by NO MEANS anxious to have a baby but i'd like to have the opportunity still available to me IF i ever found a guy worth it to me (which i haven't PERSONALLY yet, so i'm on the pill and i even asked my nurse if she made sure i got my birth control doses every day and she insisted that she always loads doses in my anodyne machine and i make sure i take my pills EVERY day whenever it tells me to). getting pregnant is just not one of my top priorities at this moment because i'm trying to get back on my feet and adding another life to take care of as a single mom would not be very easy for me and i would really prefer NOT to kill another fetus through abortion.